A Scared Love Fall

-at ma dear friends home over for a party...

I’d seen her a few times before, not closely. She’d always been someone not talking, someone too silent. And that’s why I was intrigued. While knowing nothing about her, we were similar in a way; we were going to get along. But there was always a wall in the way.

It just took that one night, few hours, and it was all broken up, and while it was the best thing to happen, it was the start by the old end. Once I got over the shyness it was so easy to speak with her, she let my words flow and my mind sparked. I was happy.She wasn’t though(while i didn't bother too). I barely saw her, but whenever I caught a glimpse of her through the crowded halls she looked...lost. As if part of her was missing, like something had been taken away. I didn’t know at the time I was kind of right. And though I hardly knew her still, I wanted to help her, she seemed like an amazing person-she is- and partly, I wanted to see her smile.

-with over more coffee talks

As time went we got closer, and I mean really close by heart. It's how the trouble started, and why it came to be one of the unthoughtful things in my life. But I was happy and I don’t think I’d change what happened, ever. And so was she. Yeah, many days I felt like crying, tearing myself up, but she stopped me, she cared. I made it impossible for her not to be happy when she’s with me; she told me many a time. It was as if I mattered. To me, she became a world, and maybe that was wrong, but I didn’t see that. She was too important.

It was just another night exactly like the ones before, sat there in the noise, surrounded by stupid people, and talking about random...everything. She smiled. So beautiful, I felt as if I shouldn’t be there. What we were talking about I don’t remember, but . . I felt I was invading into what didn’t belong to me- I was. Yet I couldn’t back off, I cared more than I should. And for once, she was the first to care about me. I felt safe, I felt human, I felt like I should exist. I wanted  to exist. All because of that sacred smile.

Had me hooked to see if there exists the rarity, purity, honesty. She was pretty on the worst of days, but yet she smile... You lose your mind. Or at least I do. The fact it was her presence that brought the smile to life, a weak thought I know, but it still made it stronger. I couldn’t leave her; her smile was coated in venom, drawing me in till I could never want to walk away. I fell in love, with the one person I shouldn’t. Because the words would have been more than enough, but the smile tipped me over the edge.